Many a time I have referred to the illustrious "Shit List." This is compiled of people who need to get the hell off my TV and stat. These are the people who, when I see them, I feel compelled to throw something at the TV and curse to the point you'd swear I was speaking in tongues. Well, I got to thinking- I never put this puppy down in any form so that's why, kiddies, we have this little page. And it's apt to change from time to time because if people do redeem themselves, I'll take them off to make room for others who are driving me nuts.
1. Stephanie McMahon
Like I've said before, she's on top of this list and has been consistently for some time now. So, what do I have against Ol' Steph? Anymore, it really doesn't have to do with her on-screen personality. I kind of dig it. But I hold a grudge so that's why she's here. It boils down to this: her position in the WWF. She is one of the main bookers (the folks who plan the shows) and has been for nearly a year-and-a-half now. In this time, we've been exposed to so much shit that I don't think the hip waders are doing the job anymore. Stephanie is a believer in this "fuck the wrestling" agenda and more in-tuned with the "bring on the soap opera" crap.
And not only that, but I think her ego has been matching her old man's with her insisting to be on TV all the fucking time and booking herself into every single major angle. But she's not content on being a valet- oh no, she had to start stealing away the spotlight from the wrestlers. Case in point- Chris Jericho. Since she started that angle where she and CJ are business partners, she's done nothing but suck up his heat. And his feud with HHH boiled down to the "divorce" angle where Stephanie is fighting with HHH over shit.
2. Vince McMahon
Well, you couldn't expect Vince to be too far behind, could you? The only reason he's running No. 2 is because Stephanie's the head booker. And Vince is also part of this McMahon overload bullshit which puts him at the top of the list. I weep to think of how many matches or angle-furthering promos we could have seen instead of the McMahon family doing their stupid shit and really stretching it out, no less.
I don't know why Vince thinks the world would rather see him instead of guys like Rock, HHH, RVD, and CJ. Actually, I do: Vince is an egomaniac who gets off on the crowd and being part of the show. This is a fucking shame because they have so many guys backstage who would love some TV time to show their craft. But, sorry folks, Vince isn't content on being an owner and booker: he wants to take your TV time because the fans just love to see his roided up senior citizen body and immovable hair. :-P
And why else is Vince on my Shit List, you may ask? Well, let me run a list down for you:
3. Jim Ross
Don't let the "Good Old JR" shit fool you, folks. This guy is a calculating player. And I definitely don't think Jeff Jarrett was stretching things when he did his WCW return shoot on him and "his boys." He's notorious for sticking up for Steve Austin to the hilt.
I think what I don't like about Ross the most is his WWF PR-abound "Ross Reports" because they're nothing but bullshit. I especially love how he talks about all these indy workers but you know it will be miraculous if they see lights outside OVW or HWA. And his obsession with "hosses" is also disturbing. Yeah, a guy might be 7-feet-tall and elicit you to get some wood, JR, but that doesn't mean shit unless they can move. His appearance on "Beyond the Mat" where he states that he only cares about having one ass per 18 inches also says a lot. I took that as him saying, "Who cares if there's no longer any wrestling? We'll do whatever shit the marks will eat up to get ratings."
His obsession with weight is also something else. Every week, he puts in a mention about someone's weight and how it's a problem. All of it is nothing more than humiliation tactics to get the talent to lose weight. He really pissed me off when he went after Taker and Bubba in his "weight report." Taker because, for fuck's sake, he's a goddamn legend in the business and when the boy gets chunky, he tries to lose it. The only time I really saw him really chunky was when the asshole was injured and stayed on to work back in '99 and that short point back in 2001 where he tended to look like a fat pirate. And Bubba may not be an Adonis but even when the bastard was amost 400 pounds he was doing goddamn planchas, for Christ's sake. Bubba also moves very well for a guy of any size.
4. The nWo (aka Gaggle of Geezers aka Unholy Trinity aka Orange Goblin, Happy Hour Hall, and the Big Lazy)
So, the nWo's back and I guess I'm supposed to give a fuck, right? Think again. I don't think they have the book this time around (at least not yet) but they're still on my list based on what they have done in the past.
Hulk Hogan may have helped propel wrestling into the mainstream, but his time has long since passed. Instead of bowing out and passing the torch, he's retained it ever since he pinned Andre the Giant at WM 3. And he was one of those folks who didn't exactly help the WCW with his backstage politics and refusing to job. Yes, he may have feuded with Billy Kidman and proud of shit of that but who had to job? Oh yes, that was believable- a 50-year-old man going over a young 20-something. And I'm definitely not a fan of Vince Russo but I do have to give the man props for shooting on Hogan at one of the last WCW PPVs.
Hall's in here just based on his Kliq-dom, which ran rampant in the mid-90's WWF. And that meant major politicking and refusals to job.
Big Lazy's in here not only for his Kliq-dom but the fact he held the book in WCW and put himself and his buddies over all the fucking time. I feel due to this, Nash is a big reason WCW folded. And based on the fact Chris Jericho has eons more charisma and talent than Nash ever will, he tried to hold CJ down.
5 Bill Goldberg
He may not be in wrestling anymore, but he's still here. And why? Lack of respect for wrestling, lack of respect for the workers, lack of training in the ring, undeserving push to the moon, prima donna behavior , he helped put Bret's career on the shelf, and ego from there and back. Oh yeah, and him putting himself over as a fucking savior for going to Ground Zero and then dogging the WWF for not doing anything (which wasn't true- they housed people at WWF NY, sent t-shirts, gave a million-dollar donation, had talent visit the workers).
6. Jerry Lawler
That whole perverted old man gig is tired. And I still shake my head when he starts that "PUPPIES!" shit, thinking to myself, "And they took Paul E. off for this?!" I know why JR wanted him back- he has a more friendly style with him than Paul E. did. Lawler will cover up his numerous fuck-ups but Paul would dog him for it. Bless you Paul. :) And the heat they had with each other made for good commentary, especially because Heyman could commentate circles around him (I think JR's day has come and gone).
7. X-Pac
X-Pac is here just based on the fact he's annoying as hell. The only reason he's around is residual Kliq influence. And I'm tired of JR pimping this guy more than a 2-dollar hooker when his promos are uninspiring, his ring work is so-so (but he can sell), and charisma just looked him over. He may be gone now but he's still here. That whole I hold a grudge thing.
8. Big Show
Okay, from all accounts Paul Wight is a nice guy outside of the ring. But my problem with him lies in ring. It's not the guy's fault but he's strong; in fact, it's one of his selling points. And sometimes when he's overzealous, he lets it rip. My main beef is Undie was victim to this twice and for a guy with bad hips and back, it ain't good to hear. However, Paul might find himself off of here one fine day when he starts to shape up.
9. Billy Gunn
Unless this guy is wearing see-through shorts, he ain't worth my time. I never could stand him and I find it a wonder he's still part of the roster.
10. Big Bossman
Here's another one who is said to be a great guy out of the ring. But Ray's time has come and gone in the ring. It's time to take that WWF road agent job and leave the ring for the younger guys who need some show time.
11. Test
Another one who is kind of pretty to look at, especially in those purple briefs. But I'll admit he's like the second coming of Nash, especially noticeable as he got the Diesel Special regarding character.
12. Steve Ausin
Here because he went from company man to spousal abuser, alpha prick.
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